LIFE SKILLS TO HELP WITH COMMUNICATION ‘CHALLENGES!’
When we are unable to communicate freely and easily in a relationship, it is a bit like being in a boat without a sail in rough seas.
There are many reasons why we have trouble with communicating and there is much that we can learn to make it simpler.
Some causes can go back to our child-hood with such things as learning to ‘stuff down’ our feelings and ‘beat around the bush’ because we’re not sure of what we really want for various reasons, and/or being too scared to voice what we need even if we did know!
Once some understanding is given regarding the blocks to such things as ‘not listening,’ ‘not being heard’ and when fears are ‘cleared’ – which could involve facing someone angry, clients learn simple ways to communicate that involve showing the person with whom they’re communicating understanding, compassion and respect.
They learn ways to vocalise clearly and practice saying what ‘they want’ in a way that is received with openness and patience by the other person with whom they are communicating.
It is suggested that certain ‘words’ are eliminated when communicating, as certain phrases do not work very well towards making the person who is listening remain open and feel happy about what is being said. For example, when someone says:
‘I appreciate what you’ve just done, BUT………………………’
The person listening will be waiting for the negative follow-on, which straight away is a ‘put-off’.
The aim is to be able to communicate assertively, at the same time respecting the other person’s viewpoint, needs and what they’d like. It is about coming up with an out-come that provides each person with something ‘they want’ and at the same time showing honest, equality, emotional vulnerability and using language that is neutral.
Lastly, when I’m working with a client, I make sure they have dealt with their ‘anger issues’ before I send them off with new ways to ‘communicate’ as ‘anger’ not dealt with appropriately, will get in the way of clear communication.