LIFE SKILLS FOR CODEPENDENCY!
I first heard about Codependency about 35 years ago when I came across a book written by Melody Beattie called ‘Codependent No More.’ This is a book sharing helpful life skills about codependency, and it is still available in Australia and one well worth reading if you have opened this page.
Back in those days, it was mostly about people who were spouses of alcoholics, who were putting other peoples’ needs ahead of their own. Added to this, they were ‘labelled’ as trying to fix the situation even though the person involved didn’t want help.
So now in 2015, what is a codependent relationship?
It is said by experts that it is a pattern of behaviour whereby a person is dependant on approval for one’s self-worth and identity. One major sign is when one’s sense of purpose in life is placed solely in making one’s partner happy and satisfying their needs.
A few of the symptoms are:
* Low self-esteem………
* Which can lead to anxiety, shame, fear of being judged.
* Weak boundaries…….
* Which can lead to reacting to other’s thoughts and feelings.
* Wanting to help everyone ‘with a problem’.
* Being ‘over’ controlling.
* Dishonest communication because of fear of hurting the other person.
* The focus is on the other person – not on themselves.
* Codependents need to have others ‘like’ them to feel okay about themselves.
* They are scared of rejection and not even sure if they can function on their own.
* Denial regarding many things – that they are codependent, that ‘they have a challenge,’ and……..
* Denial of how they feel.
* Fear of intimacy – getting close to people.
To know if you might be in a co-dependent relationship you could watch out for these signs:
* Are you unable to find satisfaction in your life outside of a specific person?
* Do you recognize unhealthy behaviours in your partner but stay with him or her in spite of them?
*Are you giving support to your partner at the cost of your own mental, emotional, and physical health?
If you’d like further information, please contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org or ring me on (0418) 897 979.