BULLYING! IN THE SCHOOL YARD! AT WORK! ANYWHERE!
Bullying behaviour is used as a means to control and feel superior. It makes the individual using it, feel powerful! The person on the receiving end, can feel the exact opposite.
There are many forms of ‘bullying!’
Verbal: which is the use of words that tease, put down, mock, embarrass, insult or threaten. This form of bullying is said to be the most prevalent here in Australia.
Physical: which involves the use of force in ways that could be pushing, kicking, hitting, damage to belongings and much more.
Emotional: which could include leaving a person out of activities, name-calling, put downs, spreading rumours about someone, making fun of what somebody does or says.
There is also Racial bullying and recently Cyber Bullying which is unfortunately growing in leaps and bounds.
These forms of behaviours can occur in the school yard, at work – in fact pretty much anywhere there are people gathered together. For me, it gets back to how we treat others – and the bottom line, how we treat ourselves! When we show ourselves respect, we will treat others the same way.
So how do bullied people really feel?
They can feel anxious, ashamed, socially alone, disconnected, totally powerless (unlike the person doing the bullying!) They can feel they have no self-worth or confidence and physical and mental problems can develop as part of the consequences of being bullied.
What can be done?
I have worked with people at both ends of the spectrum – those receiving bullying (mainly teens) and those who use ‘control’ type behaviours in relationships to get what they want.
Clients who are on the receiving end learn skills to be able to stand up and build their boundaries. Those coming from a controlling base finally learn when such things as relationships fall apart, that this form of behaviour is inappropriate and doesn’t work. They then choose to make different choices and do things differently!